ClickHole

I've been a headline contributor to ClickHole since 2021. I've written and submitted literally thousands of headlines, social media content, and celebrity quotes weekly, a small subset of which has made it to publication.

Headlines

Incredibly Gifted: This 8th Grader Is So Horny His Teachers Let Him Take Sex Ed At The High School Level‘Out, Out, Brief Candle!’: This Little Boy Whose Pet Gecko Passed Away Is Wailing About Losing His Only HeirClearing Things Up: Paul Simon Has Revealed The Crime He Sings About In ‘Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard’ Is Huffing Nitrous In A Two-Person Superman CostumeDeeply Troubling: Hackers Just Leaked Subway’s Training Videos Online, Giving Foreign Adversaries Everything They Need To Construct Italian BMTs Of Their OwnNo Longer Science Fiction: Researchers Have Discovered A Kind Of Tart That Can Go In The ToasterIt’s Scary How They Know This Much About You: Facebook Just Sent A Notification To Wish You A Happy BirthdayDevastating: Barack Obama Just Visited The White House To Relive His Glory Days But No One There Even Remembers Him AnymoreEnding World Hunger: A New UN Initiative Aims To Teach Starving People That You Can Get All The Food You Want From A Vending Machine If You Have A Quarter On A StringGet Down On Your Knees And Show Them The Respect They’ve Earned: Here Are 8 People Who Are Older Than YouBody Positivity Win! This Old Hag Who Lives In The Forest Is Telling Lost, Overweight Children That They Look DeliciousSorry But You’re Not Getting That Granite Tombstone: 5 Ridiculous Demands Grandma Made When She Was Being A Total Funeral-zilla About Planning Her Memorial ServiceThe End Of His Prime: This Man No Longer Has The Fertile Imagination And Boundless Creative Energy To Build His Own Subway Sandwich And Has To Order From The Regular Menu

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