ClickHole
I've been a headline contributor to ClickHole since 2021. I've written and submitted literally thousands of headlines, social media content, and celebrity quotes weekly, a small subset of which has made it to publication.
Headlines
- Incredibly Gifted: This 8th Grader Is So Horny His Teachers Let Him Take Sex Ed At The High School Level
- ‘Out, Out, Brief Candle!’: This Little Boy Whose Pet Gecko Passed Away Is Wailing About Losing His Only Heir
- Clearing Things Up: Paul Simon Has Revealed The Crime He Sings About In ‘Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard’ Is Huffing Nitrous In A Two-Person Superman Costume
- Deeply Troubling: Hackers Just Leaked Subway’s Training Videos Online, Giving Foreign Adversaries Everything They Need To Construct Italian BMTs Of Their Own
- No Longer Science Fiction: Researchers Have Discovered A Kind Of Tart That Can Go In The Toaster
- It’s Scary How They Know This Much About You: Facebook Just Sent A Notification To Wish You A Happy Birthday
- Devastating: Barack Obama Just Visited The White House To Relive His Glory Days But No One There Even Remembers Him Anymore
- Ending World Hunger: A New UN Initiative Aims To Teach Starving People That You Can Get All The Food You Want From A Vending Machine If You Have A Quarter On A String
- Get Down On Your Knees And Show Them The Respect They’ve Earned: Here Are 8 People Who Are Older Than You
- Body Positivity Win! This Old Hag Who Lives In The Forest Is Telling Lost, Overweight Children That They Look Delicious
- Sorry But You’re Not Getting That Granite Tombstone: 5 Ridiculous Demands Grandma Made When She Was Being A Total Funeral-zilla About Planning Her Memorial Service
- The End Of His Prime: This Man No Longer Has The Fertile Imagination And Boundless Creative Energy To Build His Own Subway Sandwich And Has To Order From The Regular Menu
They Said What?!
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